Everyday study is so not me..... for the first time im serious with studies... hahaha.... im very happy that i can study everyday and achieve my targets.... my life has been so much happier after i study... cause i wont feel bad for not studying for wasting time... BUT... yesterday i broke down...
I was seriously tired, my heart is lyk pumping so hard but oxygen just seem nt able to be transported to my lungs... i hate it when my heart pumps fast... last time when i was form 2, teacher let us use stetoscope to hear each other's heart beat... haha then i dno who was listening to mine, she says my heart beat is REALLY Strong... hahah... then she told teacher...After teacher listening to my heart beat, she says my heart got problem and ask my to go n see doctor!!!! hahaha... We all burst into laughter.... my heart got problem? hmm maybe it is true but i just dno.. cz i din go for a check... actually i suspected sth too...
Yesterday i wanted to tel my mom, but i kno she wil definately say im 'over worrying'.... haih... last year holiday i headache everyday, seriously everyday, i din exagerate... so i told my mom to bring me see doctor... she refuse to cz she says its nothing.. haha then got one day i cnt tahan.. i headache until i almost cry... then i say i die also better... hahah finally she brought me to see doctor... hahaha... at last doctor say nothign wrong... hahaha... :X
ok back to the topic... Maybe is just because of pressure la... i wanted to go and sleep... but i stil havent finish studying.. i wna reach my target... but im reli reli tired... i was so depress and wanted to find someone to talk.. but u kno wad? i cnt find any.... i suddenly feel im so lonely that nobody is actually thr for me when i need a person.... i kno thr are ppl who will comfort me la... but... haih.... they surely wil ask me just rest... i wanted to find you, but dwn la ltr you tot i wna gain attention or wad... i knew i did the right choice cz from the way you talk to me today i kno... glad that i can avoid not telling you things... usually i cant... So end up i sms my sister... she took so long to reply but wad she says reli do comfort me... normally i wil sms my bro but he sleeps quite early.. so i dwn to kacau him...
I actually cried kao kao... so long nvr cry until lyk that d... if i tells anyone abt this, they will surely say ' for this small things you cry?' yeah i feel useless too.. i asked myself this...
Q: why are u crying?
A: I also dno... hahaha...
i cry because im tried? or cz im too pathetic for being lonely? wadver it is... i do feel better already... luckily i din embarass myself infront of u...
